While waiting for The Dark Knight to begin, I was treated to the usual pre-previews. These typically consist of various commercials and the promotion of the latest derivative pop star signed to a label owned by the same company as the movie theater. But this time, I was in for a revelation. We, living serendipitously in the age that we do, are about to witness a battle to end all battles between Tommy (I was married to Pamela Anderson back when she was attractive) Lee and Chris “Ludacris” (I already have a nonsensical middle name) Bridges. As the official press release indicates, “The hard-charging, hard-partying, carbon-laden world of tour bus-living musicians doesn’t exactly scream green! Now, Planet Green challenges two icons to join the newest trend in music; ‘going green.’”

The result is Battleground Earth: Ludacris vs. Tommy Lee. The ten-episode series will follow the two musicians through challenges that test their enviro-metal and teach viewers enviro-manners. The Planet Green series, premiering August 3, is, as the official website says, “not about winning the race.” However, it is, of course, a competition. The winner gets to headline the final tour stop in Los Angeles while the loser, shamed and ridiculed, must open the show. Harsh! Tommy Lee has the obvious advantage since he’s already starred in a reality TV show, Tommy Lee Goes to College. One can only hope that Luda’s ecorage (Planet Green’s made up word, not mine), headed by Tony 4 IZE Hayes III, will make up for the missing experience.

The preview didn’t give away too many surprises (though I did see that there will be a Guinness World Record breaking attempt at the largest non-naked group shower). If you do some youtubing (my made up word, not Planet Green’s), you’ll find clips from the final concert. I don’t want to ruin the surprise by finding out which act is the headliner, but one thing I do know is that it’s gonna be envi-rock-mental (I’m copy writing that one).

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Filed under: Green Humor, Uncategorized